My Consulting and Coaching Model:

Below is the general model I use for private coaching, and I often customize it a bit depending on whether I am working with creative talent, an entrepreneur, or a corporate executive. I based it on a 5-phase change model first developed by Ed Shein at MIT. I modified the original model to fit my style and to make use of the strategies from my various books, teaching and consulting experience.

 Please Note: It is common that a new client seeks coaching when they are in crisis: They may have been recently hired or fired, found themselves in a time of personal transition, been sabotaged on a creative project, involved in a professional or personal conflict, become overwhelmed with a difficult decision or deadline. In this event, we first address the crisis and then proceed to the deeper issues using the strategies below.

I.  Discovery:

New clients complete a series of behavioral assessments that are confidential. We use these tests as a baseline for discussion and reference throughout our work.  Tests include: a behavioral event interview, profiles of motivation and communication preferences, leadership behavior assessment, and 360° feedback (if appropriate). Though no set of tests can capture the gestalt of a human being, these tests are extremely useful as we decide and implement strategy. I find the assessments especially useful for predicting stress behavior, designing interventions, and for helping clients repair relationships with those closest to them. 

Once the assessments are completed and scored, we meet to debrief the assessments in detail.  Next, we discuss the client’s situation, desires, stakeholders, competitive frame, and the important people in their lives. We then focus on the client’s struggles, opportunities, and strengths. 

We deliberately do not attempt to make or force any changes in this phase. To paraphrase Lao Tzu, “The problem we can understand at first glance is not usually the problem.”

In most coaching or consulting situations the client and I must “admire” their situation for a bit and reflect on several options before we choose a course of action.  We avoid the quick fix when time permits. The truer answers are best not forced or hasty although we often put out a fire or two on the way toward more considered goals.   

II. Strategy, Abilities, Rewards:

            After a client and I discuss the perceived current reality, future goals and resources, we develop a holistic strategy — relevant success measures, support requirements, and time frames.  We attempt (always) to leverage individual skills, social networks, accomplishments, and corporate strengths. We employ motivation techniques that are specific to each client and we mutually decide on accountability, incentives and degree of on-going support.  

These approaches have been statistically proven to enhance personal awareness, increase productivity, deepen communication as well as help establish the necessary rhythms of the creative process. 

Working together we identify a personal strategy or career evolution and vigilantly work to capitalize on events (both expected and not expected) as they unfold across time — adjusting our approach as necessary. 

III. Weekly Support and Fees:

            Knowing how important regular follow up is to the success of any change process, I usually meet with clients once or twice a week, with a minimum of weekly follow-up.  We meet either face to face or by teleconference with additional phone and email support as required. 

Consulting fees and workshops are priced on a project by project basis. My average consulting day rate ranges from $3500 to $5000 depending on the length of the engagement, goals, number of participants, and the organization involved.  

Private coaching clients pay a monthly retainer of $1500 to $5000 with a 3 month minimum paid in advance against an hourly rate of $350. I do not believe in quick fixes (though they do happen).  My “professional courtesy” rate for a one-time project review or book edit with comments is $250 an hour.

All my retainer arrangements have a “30 second” cancellation clause. In other words, clients have the right to terminate my services in “30 seconds” should they feel at any time they are not receiving adequate return on their investment. In such a case, money would be returned on a pro-rata basis. This has never happened. 

For pricing comparison, most corporations expect to pay from 18K to 24K (about $350 an hour) for an average intervention from a well-qualified professional coach.     

IV. Resistance, Obstacles, Reconstruction: 

            Some situations change easily, some do not. Either way, change is a process that brings up anxiety and therefore potential resistance. 

As a client engagement progresses over time, my job is to help a client maintain enough anxiety (think of anxiety as “blocked excitement”) to insure the anxiety present provides needed energy for change and simultaneously does not get so high as to paralyze a client to the point a project is abandoned or sabotaged.

Even positive change is a stressor. This includes fame and fortune.  Success must often be addressed as an unseen enemy – particularly when it is long overdue or comes suddenly. (It can destabilize the personality.)

Therefore, a client’s goal may be relatively straight forward — such as the completion of a specific project or life transition – and they are often more complex and confusing such as sudden a career shift, a rapid change in financial status, a business struggle, even a personal crisis such as retirement, divorce, or death of a loved one.  (Many changes in life will always remain unwanted and difficult.  There are times when the best we can hope for is solace and perseverance. Life is, after all, life.)

V. Celebration and Completion

            The emotions of completion and renewal keep many people from addressing a necessary goodbye head-on.  Yet, we need to reach healthy closure with projects, with people, with phases of our work. 

The time and depth of our closure effort varies by client and circumstance.  It ranges from a simple conversation and a celebration dinner to a day of planning.  In the process, we celebrate our wins, review our losses, and properly say goodbye to this phase of our work and our relationship. This official “goodbye” effort clears the decks for what is next.

Below is my client wish list. It is a list of ideal characteristics and motivations that are good indicators of potential success.  They represent something we can build on and I prefer my clients possess several of them.  I also list it here so that potential clients can reflect on what they want most in a coach and comrade. It serves us as a conversation starter about our strengths and weaknesses.  My ideal client:

1. Either is or wants to be a leader or expert in their field, or is close to becoming one, and/or is successful in one field and able to transfer those skills into another desired field of endeavor. Most talented people have multiple skill sets and interests.

2. Has a good track record or reputation with connections and a network on which we can base our efforts.

3. Can (or can learn to) handle him/herself well with senior level executives and the press – articulate, dynamic – who exhibits both humility and the will to succeed.

4. Is without active problems with substance abuse or is at least willing and able to confront them.
5. Does (or wants to do) the work they do because they believe in it.

6. Possesses a strong enough personality to take responsibility for their current situation and the steps necessary to change it.

7. Has personal courage and can usually “speak truth to power” — meaning express their feelings and thoughts even when dissatisfied.

8. Is capable and determined to follow through and implement plans we agree on.

9. Desires to succeed in all areas of their life, not just financially.

10. Values my time and expertise — and their own.

List of common client desires and goals:

1.    Initiate and complete a creative project.

2.    Rebuild a damaged family or business relationships.

3.    Restructure a business, scientific or artistic career.

4.    Design and develop new products, processes or services.

5.    Transition from one career or life phase into another.

6.    Balance home life and work life for the benefit of both.

7.    Cope with personal loss, career disappointments or abrupt change.

8.    Find new meaning in life or in work.

9.    Increase morale, attendance, and productivity.

10. Identify new marketing, advertising or branding strategies.

11. Capture non-linear business opportunities.

12. Leverage the effects of success, wealth and/or fame.

13. Propel initial success into a career.

14. Create respectful dialogue between talent and business representatives.

15. Manage recovery from substance abuse, impulse or mood disorders.

16. Organize an adventurous corporate or artistic community that lives on the edge of intuition and creative advantage.

17. Work through the underlying emotions that cut productivity and damage team communication.

18. Utilize the anxiety caused by deadline pressure.

19. Resolve costly conflicts.

20. Rediscover the fun and humor in the creative process.

Veterans Day, 2008

The men in the trenches when World War I ended were unnerved by the sudden hush of the guns. The sound of artillery had become such a constant that when the cannons fell silent the resulting quiet was too eerie to bear: more frightening than celebratory. No one quite knew how to act or whether to believe it was over.  

The Allied leaders chose the 11^th Hour, on the 11^th Day, of the 11^th Month of 1918 for the Armistice (now Veterans Day) to take effect, in hopes that the horrors of Flanders Fields might not be repeated.  How strange it is that over 20 million people died such miserable deaths then, the average age of soldiers 18.5 years old, stranger still that a hundred million have died since. During most battles, particularly in World Wars I and II, many lived for months within sight and hearing of their nation’s enemies. Yet, no one managed to end the violence.  Not then, and sadly, not since.

Plato said, “Only the dead have seen the end of war.” I pray that we will one day prove him wrong. I wish the 11^th Hour symbolism had not been lost to future generations, but it has. Today there are many wars going on, ours in Iraq and Afghanistan, others in Congo, Gaza, or Sri Lanka. Very few, if any, over anything truly meaningful.

Perhaps Plato will always have the last word. Since I was old enough to read I have wondered why we call warfare anything but a time of mass murder on both sides.  Even a word like “Victory” sounds hollow when it denies the horrors inflicted to achieve it.  During World War II, we (the U.S.) firebombed more than half of Japan’s major cities during the dead of night, killing hundreds of thousands of civilians in the resulting flames. That never sounded like a “Victory” to me, but a time for global  mourning and reflection about how that war could have happened in the first place. 

War is really an admission of failure — the failure of Diplomacy, Reason, and Compromise: A failure too deep to deserve the word “Victory.” Perhaps we need a new language to describe what war really is. Don’t get me wrong, I was raised in a military family and I honor the men and women who serve their country, regardless of what side they are on.  War ceases to be an abstraction when people you love are killed or maimed in one. Perhaps it is from this sort of ambivalence, unanswered questions, anger, grief, or deep, mysterious, and conflicted feeling that Art is born.

Some say all Art is political. Certainly artists seek to interpret the world, its beauty and its horror, to reveal deeper truths, to point us toward the divine, or simply to provide inspiration, solace or joy. Some make Art from pain in an attempt to stop insanity or make sense of the senseless.

The Russian poet, Yevgeny Yevtushenko coined the term “Warnography” to describe how the news media deliver the “beautification” of war. Warring nations routinely use language and images meant to de-humanize their enemies. (The term Axis of Evil comes to mind).

Since Yevtushenko’s lecture to the Association of Neurological Surgeons in 1991 is (in my opinion) one of the finest lectures ever given on art, politics and war, I have included a link to his full text. It is worth the time:

http://jnsonline.org/jns/issues/v75n6/pdf/n0750989.pdf

Warmest regards, and I wish you a Happy/Sad, Remorseful/Rejoicing Veterans Day to all who have served, whether as the dead, the victors, the defeated, the families of the fallen, or the maimed — and the artists and all others attempting to stop it all. Mark

I often use the creative arts to provide lessons in leadership and organizational communication.  Planning a team intervention I might use story, music, painting, sculpting – even acting – to inspire insight in a corporate or coaching client. And our work as an artist can also teach us many things about ourselves. So, for both those of you who are using the arts as a teaching tool and those who make their living as artists,  below is a story of a team leader who learned a big lesson from simply pounding on a drum.  

Before Michael joined his new creative department at the television network, he had a successful history as a freelance producer. As he rose in the organization his work increasingly required more and more solo travel and administrative work, less and less creative teamwork. Expectations of him grew along with his salary but so did his isolation.

Eventually, Michael grew so used to being by himself that his ability to be a team player suffered. In fact, his confidence began to border on arrogance. Self-sufficiency led to fewer and fewer reality checks from his peers. But luckily for Michael he got a dose of reality.

At a leadership conference where he was a keynote speaker, Michael decided to participate in the conference instead of retreating to his hotel room to isolate. One activity he chose to attend was a drumming circle facilitated by a leadership trainer from a large international automaker, a company from whom Michael’s team often solicited for ad revenue.    

Pounding on drums, each member of Michael’s assigned “band” enjoyed the fun of making music. Then he and his band were given the chance to improvise a song for two minutes. Competitive and energized, Michael threw himself into his drumming with abandon. 

Only when the two minutes were up did Michael realize he had not heard a note of his teammate’s playing, he was so focused on his own. Shocked and surprised, Michael suddenly understood that his entire band had been trying to follow him without him listening to them or attempting to include them in any way.  He had not even considered them so lost was he in his own playing.    

Challenged to apply the drumming lesson to his work life, Michael was immediately struck by how similar the experience was to his performance style at work. He had become so concentrated on his own performance that he often failed to take his team into account. Just as he had done in the music improve. Reflecting on what he would change now that he was aware of his “deafness” to his team. He realized he wasn’t considering the effect of his delays on his team’s schedules or workloads. His strength –self-reliance — had become his weakness. It kept him from asking for help or input or hearing his team’s “music.”

Creative leaders have to keep the orchestra in mind. Michael made a new commitment to garner regular input and support from his team even if at times it meant telling them that he was confused or unsure. No one can play all the instruments.

In any organization, how we create is as important as what we create – and our creative endeavors can be used as a powerful source of personal insight.

How has your playing been lately? Are you in the same key as your team or family?

When we speak of blocks to our creativity, we mean behaviors that relieve our anxiety but keep us from being productive. Blocks are non-optimal coping behaviors that become personal styles of dealing with increased anxiety.  Over the years our clients have reported blocking behaviors that include excessive drinking and drug use, overeating, unsafe sex, excessive television, constant worry about the future, spending sprees, hostility toward others, constantly acting as a caregiver, and even isolation.

There are probably as many non-optimal ways to try to cope with stress as there are people. However, any or all of these behaviors can become dangerously addictive. And none of them actually addresses the real issue – our emotions or feelings of vulnerability when we are faced with a challenge.

Accessing our creative abilities to live more fulfilling lives requires vulnerability and accepting our vulnerability usually requires a small adjustment in attitude. This does not mean we have to be weak willed or even nice about it. In fact, resentments are good for some people if they motivate us to do the work we want to do. But whether angry or teary eyed or any place in between, we will need to find a way to do the work whatever it takes, be it courage when we are afraid, compassion when we are self-loathing, or competitive enough to be angry when we lose. To use our anxiety to produce work instead of act out in blocking behavior is a beautiful thing.   

What creative blocks do you use?

 What strategies might you use to help you eliminate or minimize your personal creative blocks?

October, 21, 2008

A reader asked me whether the urge to be an artist is just a form of narcissism.  It is true that a certain amount of self-absorption is common among individuals that are highly motivated to create something extraordinary or unique.  However, the clinical diagnosis of narcissism describes someone who “manifests an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an exhibitionistic need for attention and admiration, feelings of entitlement, a lack of empathy for others, and a tendency to exploit interpersonal relationships.” 

This doesn’t sound like such a likeable person, but I have met plenty of people –artists and non – that are so self-referential that they probably fit the definition of a pathological narcissist – and yet they can be charming, talented, and even extremely successful: At least outwardly. Inwardly may be another matter

Most functional narcissism (as opposed to highly destructive criminal forms) is probably best illustrated by the joke about the actor who meets a screenwriter at a party. After about 20 minutes of a monologue about herself, the actor catches her breath and says, “ohh I am going on and on about me. What do you do? To which the other woman replies, “I am a screenwriter”. And without missing a beat the actor asks, “Have you ever written anything I’ve been in?” 

Heinz Kohut, the founder of self-psychology, focused much of his work on the transformation of pathological narcissism into a more mature, constructive narcissism.  He considered creativity to be one of the several routes into this healthier state. 

He had his reasons, but I would suggest that creativity is by nature both a grandiose and a humbling act.  Since any artistic domain is inexhaustible, there is always room for improvement, something more we can learn, a new skill we can acquire.  And what could be more humbling than that? Or perhaps more exciting?

As our ideals guide us toward a more mature expression of self, other factors aid our transformation toward wisdom. These are:

A sense of the transient nature of life, our mortality.

The capacity for empathy.

A sense of humor.

warmest regards, Mark 

October 17, 2008 

Most of us will never become great artists, does that mean we shouldn’t try?  After all, we benefit neurologically from any new experience that challenges us intellectually, physically, or even spiritually.  Yet, even knowing how healthful my attempts at creativity can be, why do I allow perfectionism to bounce me from a project? Is it ego? Do I just tell myself that if I can’t be a great artist then I just won’t be one at all? This can very subtly on us.

Ever let yourself get slowly behind in a project, miss a few days, and suddenly it is months later and your hot new project is dead before you realize it? Many of us have. There is only so much time in a day.  Yet, we have to find a way to shorten the realization time and get moving again once we stop. Most of us need help to overcome this block.

I reach out to a friend during those times and ask them to remind me of how much I like it when I have fulfilled my commitments to myself.  The remembered joy of creativity accomplished can help get me started again when I am stalled.  I don’t need my friend to yell at me or tell me how good it is going to be, for me what works is for them to remind me of the positive feelings I have enjoyed after past accomplishments. 

My friend also knows to have me stop thinking of the project as a whole and just focus on doing the day’s work at hand.  This is the quickest way out of my procrastination spiral. Do you have a preferred way out of your procrastination?

 My Three Domains of Creativity

The Oxford Dictionary defines creativity simply as “inventive and imaginative action.” So whenever we act imaginatively and inventively in any of three primary domains – the realm of things (artifacts), the realm of self, and the realm of relationships/community – I think we are using our creative instincts. Skills such as curiosity, focus, and flexibility are 3 hallmarks of human intelligence. They allow us to reflect on our behavior and improvise new solutions to old problems.

So, how might you be actively looking to unlock your creativity in each of these 3 domains?     

Creativity of Artifact – The Domain of Things

Making and inventing things is a natural sign of an intelligence at work. This first domain is the one of external expression — that of making and inventing tangible things. These artifacts (things) include objects we can see, feel, touch, smell or experience be it a painting, sculpture, dance or a new gearbox for a old corvette.  In other words, creativity includes artifacts in every aspect of life — the arts, engineering, and the sciences. Anything we can invent in the physical world. 

Perhaps your particular artifact is a new song, novel or painting; or new medical treatment, scientific formula, or business service. Efforts in any of these realms – artifact, personal evolution, or community — are cause to congratulate ourselves for a creative task attempted - and hopefully, well done.  

Name three times you had a joyful experience making or inventing something new.

 1.

 2.

 3.

Now try and embrace those feelings when you need to break your procrastination dance.  I will do the same.  More on this next week.  warmest regards,  Mark  

Most humans treat “found” money differently than “earned” money.

Humans use several separate “mental schemas” for storing memories and behaviors related to money. We sort financial data into different “mental accounts” according to the source of our income and our mind treats each account by different rules. Ever end up spending more than your bonus even when you planned to put it into savings?  Welcome to the human race.

This is one reason so many freelance artists – actors, writers, musicians, painters — and many commission sales people,  struggle to hold on to our money when we do get it.  I know from experience that feeling of waiting for the big check to arrive and afterwards wondering where the extra money went. It can be very difficult to break a boom and bust cycle because of how our brains treat a “windfall.” The difference is so marked that most people who receive a windfall tend to spend 3X the windfall even when they had no intention of doing so.

Sure, many of us keep a rational spending rule for “earned monies” such as a paycheck or other regular income.  I know many people who, like me, are very “good” with money during times of regular pay or times of limited resources when money is tight.  We cash in our coins, eat almond butter and jelly sandwiches, hit the early matinee to get cheaper movie tickets, buy clothes at discount stores, get very good at finding great deals. We “manage” and we get by. We even pride ourselves on living like ingenious college students: Except we are long past college.      

So, what is wrong with living frugally, you ask? Absolutely nothing.  But a constant cycle of boom and bust increases our stress.

The Exciting News

            Okay, so now we know: Our brains naturally and unconsciously consider non-regular income — such as bonuses, book advances, inheritance, financial gifts, big commissions as “found” money, and treats regular income such as a pay check as “earned” money.  It is clear: We must find ways to keep our brains from treating “windfalls” and “pay checks” differently, right?  Forewarned is forearmed.

            If you work freelance, receive royalties, work on commission, or get bonuses, you will likely need outside support to act in your financial best interest whenever you receive windfall money of any kind.  Otherwise you will spend many times your bonus before you realize it.  We have to treat each dollar earned the same as every other dollar earned: One dollar equals one dollar, no matter the source.

            Think of a time you received a sudden windfall like a bonus at work, a raise, a gift, an inheritance, or other unexpected income such as a tax refund.

What did you do with it? _____________________________________________.

What might you do differently now? ____________________________________.

Warmest regards,  Mark

Oh, one more thing.  I forgot to post this blog yesterday.  Like the financial inventory from a few days ago, it is also lifted from my new work on money. Thought it  might help to explain the current global meltdown (and my personal financial struggles.)

Fact:  As a species we are overconfident about our finances. And we are convinced we are right even in the face of contrary evidence!

            We humans rarely know as much about money as we think we do. Even when we actually know as much as we think we do, it is often not as much as we should know to make the right decisions. In experimental surveys, even when very educated people are absolutely sure they are 100% correct in their answers,  they are only right 80-85% of the time. I know, you  don’t believe me, so  just take the little test  below.

Imagine a lost baseball bat and ball cost $1.10. The bat costs $1.00 more than the ball.

How much does the ball cost? _______________

(Don’t Peek!)   

Most people answer “The ball costs 10 cents.”  Is this what you said? 

If so, you are not right, and also not alone. Even the majority of graduate students in top business schools give the same answer. Why? Because the brain reacts quickly to the “natural” seeming relationships in the powers of 10. The sum of 1.10 separates “intuitively” into 1.00 and .10 and clouds our judgment.  

           The correct answer is 5 cents. The bat must cost 1.05 to be worth exactly $1 more than the ball. But the intuitive brain overrides mathematical knowledge and most of us answer incorrectly before our rational brain can correct the error. This kind of intuitive error happens every day and leads to a consistent human overconfidence with money. (It probably triggers many impulsive shopping trips as well).

Answer the following questions three times:

The Hyena and the Dead Horse

The hyena once had the luck to come upon a dead horse.  There was enough meat for three whole days.  He fell to with a will and was busy enjoying his meal when suddenly he saw his village coming.  He knew their young had healthy teeth and growing appetites, and as he did not want to share the magnificent carcass with them, he said:

            “You see that other village over there?  If you’re quick you’ll find plenty of horses there, just like this one.  Only you should run before someone gets there first.”

            The hyena’s neighbors then rushed toward that village, shouting the good news at the tops of their voices.  And as the tale traveled to all corners of the bush, all the smaller wild animals ran toward the village where a feast of horse meat was to be found.

            The whole morning the hyena watched them go by, singly or in flocks, until in the end he began to be worried.

            Well, he said to himself, it looks as if it must be true.  That village must be full of dead horses.

            And leaving the carcass he had had all to himself, he started off to join a band of other animals that were running toward the village…

            What strikes you about this story? Reflect on it for a few minutes. Is there any way that you might be following the crowd right now?  OR perhaps hoarding something from others? Or perhaps it means not to leave what we have on rumor? or become convinced  of our own lies?  There are lots of possible interpretations.  

My personal riff on it today — besides the obvious stock market metaphor — is this:

            Lately, I have been a bit more concerned  about finances than usual. (Who isn’t, right?)  But when I get scared about money, my time gets allocated exclusively to my work and I begin hoarding my time from others.  This means I end up saying to family and friends, “I can’t make that engagement, go ahead without me.”  And they do!  Then once I am truly alone with my work (my version of the dead horse) I first feel freedom and relief.  But then those feelings fade and I am left with only a sense of nostalgia and longing for their company.  Ruthless means lacking tenderness or compassion and I risk appearing that way to loved ones if I always put my work first.  Rather than Isolate myself this weekend and then running after my village, I am going to try to focus on being Ruth-full instead.   

            As to the Hyena story, as I have said about African folk tales, there is no right or wrong answer. The story is simply a doorway into a state of reflection or a chance to debate with friends.

            Yet, it is also not just a game. Money problems and concerns with survival can be harmful stressors in our lives. After all, humans need the same resources as other animals: air, food, water, and a safe place to raise our children. And when survival is threatened we are rarely on our best behavior, isolating, demanding, stomping around the house, become pessimistic, in general  being difficult and sometimes far worse.

            Many of us react out of fear when we get frightened about basic resources – and today, for us human-folks, money is a symbol of survival and safety. Stress gets high, should we follow the crowd or stay with what we know? Stress can propel us into fantasy of instant riches, dependency on someone else, or irresponsible financial decisions. The good news is that while more income is not always possible, some small, doable changes in the way we handle our money can make a big difference in our financial reality. And positive changes can happen very fast.

           Warmest regards,  Mark

October 7,2008

I give the same advice to creative individuals and teams in the world of business, health care, or scientific innovation – Ideally, don’t show your new idea to anyone until you have put some “legs” on it.  By this I mean we keep the idea private until  we can complete the rough draft  or build a working  prototype. Otherwise the project is jeopardized more often than not.

Here is how it works for me (and many with whom I have worked.) I get an idea. I get excited about it. I run screaming Eureka and tell everyone – friends, potential publishers, angel investors. They look at me as I am crazy and one of three things happens:

A. The listeners love it.  We go out and celebrate how brilliant I am. I am so happy about all the praise, that I take a couple of days (or months) to imagine my Pulitzer speech or pound my chest about how talented I am. (This amuses my wife.)

With luck I will return to the project in a month or maybe a year (or a decade). Without luck, or an intervention, I may never finish it. Consequently, I have learned to keep my mouth shut and my shoulder to the wheel. (No one is perfect at this.)

B. The listeners are indifferent. They may never read it or promise that they will and then just never get back to me.  Then I spend a lot of time speculating about what they will say, “Will they like it?” “Will they hate it?”  (Your temperament, stress level, and the stakes at play greatly influence which assumption you will make on any given day. And  some of us may vacillate between days when it is perfect and days when it is awful. Know the feeling? (good or bad depending on our temperament and stress  level). 

The point is, indifference just makes me waste time anticipating someone’s feedback instead of simply going about my business and doing the work.

C. The listeners hate it. They don’t like my beginning, my ending, the protagonist, or they are certain I should set the story in ancient Egypt. Whatever. The other way they kill me is by talking about the market. Who is going to buy that?  What about the other products just like it? and so on and so on.  Just build the initial gadget, then think market.

Of the three possible reactions, this one is actually the least dangerous for me personally because resentments motivate me, at least somewhat. But never as much than if I just did the damn work, kept my mouth shut, and looked for my affirmation elsewhere. (You can make your goal public if you want to do so. But keep the details of the project to yourself.)

Yes, people are temperamentally different.  And you will discover for yourself which is most dangerous to your productivity, but these are three common sabotages.

For those of you, who, like me, are motivated by anger or resentment, be sure you remember that anger can be a character defect if we take it too far. It is also contagious and destructive if misused. However, once channeled into creative action it can catapult us forward. I would much rather be angry than depressed. I get more done. 

Try this week to remain silent and not ask for feedback –attempt to keep your project a beautifully personal, confidential quest.  Let me know what happens.

Warmest regards, Mark